I may have previously mentioned that I'm not a big makeup person. Two years ago I had to buy foundation and concealer for my brother's wedding and that had been the extent of it. When I entered college I did start dabbling in liquid liner (cat eye anyone?) but nothing else.
Well, sometime during the winter festivities - and sometime before that - I got into watching the "beauty gurus" on YouTube and that really got me into makeup. I bought BB cream for New Year's makeup (drugstore one), started concealing, doing my eyebrows, trying on lip colors, blah blah blah. I even started trying on mascara. Yeah, that's pretty intense for me! So for the new semester, since I only go in three times a week, I found it was easy for me to just wear makeup those days. It became such a routine, that I started putting on makeup every time I was going out somewhere - anywhere. And then suddenly the other day I saw my face after washing it (my skin is a bit sensitive so it's always a bit red after washing) and I became so conscious of all my spots, redness, and essentially my imperfections. And of course I started complaining about the blotchiness and the few dark spots and after a few minutes of really beating on myself, I realized that this was the first time I had been so critical of my face. Sure I'd dealt with body image issues as a teen - and still at times nowadays - but I never cared much about my face. I always thought that plucking was pretty much the only thing I needed to do. So what had changed?
Makeup. Now, while I really do like playing with makeup colors, lips, and certainly nails (as you might recall), I had become dependent on those products to hide myself. And the times I saw my real skin, in all its imperfect glory, I was sort of disgusted. I had actually come to prefer my face behind the mask than for what it really is. I can't tell yet how I feel about this realization. Upset at myself, of course. And I don't know if I will completely stop. There are colors that I love to play with, after all! But to become so dependent on the products? I'm not sure I like that. Especially if it's going to mean that I like myself even less.
Revlon Just Bitten Kissable / Rimmel Stay Matte / Anastasia Tinted Brow Gel / Fresh Sugar Tinted Lip Treatment / Burt's Bees Lip Shimmer / Maybelline Babylips / Chanel Concealer / Revlon Colorstay Liquid Liner / No. 16 Hand Lotion
Well, sometime during the winter festivities - and sometime before that - I got into watching the "beauty gurus" on YouTube and that really got me into makeup. I bought BB cream for New Year's makeup (drugstore one), started concealing, doing my eyebrows, trying on lip colors, blah blah blah. I even started trying on mascara. Yeah, that's pretty intense for me! So for the new semester, since I only go in three times a week, I found it was easy for me to just wear makeup those days. It became such a routine, that I started putting on makeup every time I was going out somewhere - anywhere. And then suddenly the other day I saw my face after washing it (my skin is a bit sensitive so it's always a bit red after washing) and I became so conscious of all my spots, redness, and essentially my imperfections. And of course I started complaining about the blotchiness and the few dark spots and after a few minutes of really beating on myself, I realized that this was the first time I had been so critical of my face. Sure I'd dealt with body image issues as a teen - and still at times nowadays - but I never cared much about my face. I always thought that plucking was pretty much the only thing I needed to do. So what had changed?
Makeup. Now, while I really do like playing with makeup colors, lips, and certainly nails (as you might recall), I had become dependent on those products to hide myself. And the times I saw my real skin, in all its imperfect glory, I was sort of disgusted. I had actually come to prefer my face behind the mask than for what it really is. I can't tell yet how I feel about this realization. Upset at myself, of course. And I don't know if I will completely stop. There are colors that I love to play with, after all! But to become so dependent on the products? I'm not sure I like that. Especially if it's going to mean that I like myself even less.
Revlon Just Bitten Kissable / Rimmel Stay Matte / Anastasia Tinted Brow Gel / Fresh Sugar Tinted Lip Treatment / Burt's Bees Lip Shimmer / Maybelline Babylips / Chanel Concealer / Revlon Colorstay Liquid Liner / No. 16 Hand Lotion